This is me. Guilty admission: I love reading the "about" pages of other people who blog. Although I am somewhat private and mysterious here, it is not because that is my personality. We decided that in the interest of the children's cyber-safety, we would leave out as much identifying information as possible.
But, since our story is extremely common and normal and offers little identifiers, I think it's safe to share! So, at the outcome of sounding highly ego-centric, here it goes:
My husband and I married after his last year of college, a week before he started medical school in Cincinnati. I was 24 and he was my first boyfriend. It was a whirlwind engagement of only 2 months. When love hits you, you are held hostage to its demands, what can I say? Fortunately, I can say it's the best decision of my life. We lived in Cincinnati for five years and when we left, he had two letters behind his name and I had two children behind mine. My daughter, who I refer to as the Pixie, is 6 now and my son, the Imp, is 4. And a half. That's very important to remember because he turns into a wolverine if you cheat him of a single month of his age. They are the joy of my life and the most difficult part of it as well. That's motherhood for you. Nothing makes sense anymore, you speak in paradoxes, and you can't remember where you left your keys or if you already took your medications. But you know that you wouldn't trade it any for anything in the world.
Now here comes the other part. Disclaimer: this is a bare-all revelation. You will probably experience a boost of your own self-image.
Overall, we are a regular family. Oberon, now a radiology fellow, can be gone many hours, days, and occasionally weeks. (It used to be worse when he was a resident.) He is a wonderful father and husband so we are always counting down to when he can be with us. Things are always crazy around here, the house is perpetually messy, dinner is consistently late, actually I am consistently late, and at the end of the day, I am frequently dressed for the run I was supposed to do first thing in the morning. And I'll go to bed not having done it. It's hard for me to put things into perspective and focus on what happened during the day that matters the most. I lack patience and am quick to frustration. (I think I have, and am being treated for, adult ADHD.) Two years ago, I found out I had a near-debilitating case of Hashimoto's thyroiditis and raging depression that had me crying on the floor, ignoring phone calls and texts, and that's just the part I'll write about. While my thyroiditis will be a lifelong struggle, the heaviest weight of my depression has since been lifted and I only have to deal with the "normal" garden-variety depression. But nothing breaks your heart more than your children's struggles. We've been doing regular occupational therapy with my daughter for sensory processing disorder but the perspective since has changed slightly. Now we're members of the elite group of children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. When I held my baby for the first time, I wanted the world to see her perfection. Instead, people see her dancing in a shopping cart while singing in tongues at the top of her lungs. But, none of these are things that I want to focus on during my time blogging; I am exposing them because I feel it's important for people to know that nothing in our home is as it seems in the photos. I have to brush aside crumbs and dead ants to take photographs of food sometimes. Please do not ever think that I have some secret answer to living graciously and perfectly because the guilt will cripple me into confessing things much, much uglier and worse than what I've already written. You don't want me to go there!
Because I tend to get so caught up in the things that sow seeds of gloom in my heart, I wanted to start a project that forced me to focus on all the happiness that was happening around me while I was busy throwing my self-pity party. So, that's why I do this blog. The title "the Fairy and the Pumpkin" reminds me of that magical, intangible quality of fairy tales where any mundane thing can be enchanted and enchanting. I want to weigh the daily to-do's and evaluate them in terms of benefit, rewards, and the love they bring into our home. There are vast amounts of love and energy in the world being created and recycled; I want to be a part of that and not miss out on it anymore. It's been so much healthier for me to bake a loaf of bread for this blog at the end of a messy day than to let all the miserable details ferment in my mind. The end result? We're spending more time eating better and focusing on the beautiful things we would otherwise miss, because "an ordinary thing doth wonderful bring."
To finish up this self-portrait, I definitely hate mess and disorganization, even though it always finds me. I love animals and so do my children, especially my darling Pixie. The child would find something to love in a limping, one-eyed warthog. Our pets are important to us. We have one dog, Hairy Winston, and we miss our flock of chickens that apartment life would not let us keep. We love movies, books, music and staying busy! We, more than anything, love eating fattening, sugary foods! I recently finished a master's program in nutrition (I have to admit that I started it when I was pregnant with the Pixie so it's long overdue) and so I really should know better. But my personal belief in moderation and in the emotional healing power of rich foods overrides prudence! While I love design and interior decorating, I have no training or education. (I graduated with a B.S. in Neuroscience from college and my only salary-job experience is cutting frozen rat brains and labeling them with radioactive RNA. ?!!) Also, I love to garden and cook and sometimes SCUBA dive or rock climb. I most love being outside and sleeping. I have a few other minor hobbies like playing flute and piano that I don't make time for, I talk too much, and use run-on sentences. I'm a first generation Mexican-American (as in, my parents have a totally cute accent when they say "yogurt") and I'm a Mormon. This being a strong defining characteristic of why I live the way I do. Oh, and we are living in Portland this year. If you didn't already know me before, I think you know everything about me now that there is to know!
Definitely, I am so happy that you are reading my blog and that I have so many amazing and talented people in my life that I can call friends and family. I am extremely lucky in that regard. It makes my heart swell with a giddy joy that I have somewhere to share and write about the things that help me cultivate love and gratitude.