It is said the family that prays together, stays together. (Or is it just from the Disney Robin Hood movie I had memorized growing up?) I think that it should be inserted it is the family that works and prays together that stays together. Teaching my children to work around the house has definitely been a labor of love. But the reward, oh the reward, is sweet and binding. I'm beginning to see that to work and accomplish together as a family is to commit, to serve and to come together in purpose.
Don't get me wrong; not every day runs smoothly and there are plenty of mishaps along the way. But here are ideas that are currently working for us; they are not novel or ingenious. In fact you can find them on pinterest or a google search. They are not carefully curated and masterminded elaborate schedules but, if they help kickstart anyone, I'll share them here.
The first idea which works well for younger children are colored popsicle sticks with the "to-do's" for the day. One end has color and the other hasn't. When the to-do is complete, the stick can be flipped. We use these for things like violin, piano, homework, scripture study, etc. One of them is marked "chores" but chores in our home is complex so I have a detailed sheet for their daily chores. I will get to that in a minute.
To make our sticks, I measured an inch on the ends and marked a line there. I used some Martha Stewart paints in fab cute colors to paint ends different colors. Resting the painted popsicle sticks on pencils helped the paint dry quickly.
In order for my children to flip their "chore" stick, they need to have completed their chore checklist. We make our children suffer a little, it's true, but we feel that it's fair overall. We live on a farm and they enjoy all the wonderful space and novelties so they need to pitch in a bit. Otherwise I get overwhelmed quickly.
I rotate a schedule A and a schedule B between the two children every week. Between the two of them all the chickens and turkeys get fed and watered, in the summers they also fill up the grain buckets for all of the livestock. They feed and water Winston, empty the dishwasher, take out trash and recycling, set the table for dinner and clear it afterwards, pick up their bedroom, and on Saturdays they sort their laundry and clean their bathrooms. If they check off everything, they even sweep our front porch.
Here is a blank pdf version for anybody to use. While I did copy someone else's idea, their version was not available online so I made my own. They print up two per sheet, one with orange and blue chore charts and the other with pink and green chore charts. If anybody would like the psd format to work it in photoshop themselves, please contact me and I can send that to you.
**A note: from what I understand, children are incapable of distinguishing time lapses. Memories made last week may as well have been yesterday, memories from today seem like yesterday, etc. For this reason, I find that my children often remember having done their chore for the day when in fact they are remembering from the day before. Using the chore checklist to check off as they complete their chores helps take care of this problem. If you can teach them to check things off as they do it.**
When the children complete all of their to-do's and all their chores, life is wonderful. It's amazing how much those two can lighten my load when they do their part. I've come to learn that my role as a mother was never meant to be a servant because that does them a disservice. Instead, teaching them to serve and participate keeps our relationships and attitudes healthier. I can not say enough how amazing it feels to work hard together and then gather together to play afterwards. None of this is perfect but it's really changed our mother/child relationship for the better.
We do not pay our children for their chores but I do give them a token for completing their chores and another token for completing their to-do's. We do this daily (except Sundays) so they can earn two tokens a day. For tokens, colored bingo chips work perfectly. Tokens can be traded in to choose an adventure from the family treasure box. These rewards are family activities that require some moderate planning but are very fun for the children, like rock-climbing or ice-skating or going to see a matinee movie.
Not brilliant but it gets the children motivated to share in the work. When I look out the kitchen window and see them helping each other to sweep the leaves off the porch as I do dishes, it fills me with a gratitude that I could never express in words. I see their generosity and willingness to help me and it makes me appreciate them more. And I hope that its helps them see that they are a part of the big picture whose work is valuable and necessary. If anybody else has a system or tips that work for their family, I'd love to hear!
